Liquid Plumber

I got my drain removed today.

A few questions may be swirling around in your mind, chief of which is "what is a drain and why did you have it?" Another may be less of a question and more of a statement, like: "ewwww!"

Sure, it was cool the first few days, having a surgical tube sticking out of the right side of my belly with a clear bulb connected to the end collecting the fluid that was freeloading in my abdomen after the surgery. As I got more mobile, though, it became painfully obvious this thing was gonna be ... well, a pain! I never had the urge to rip it out, which I've heard many people do, so I had that going in my favor. The real issue was it constantly getting caught on something. The bulb was always just hanging there, safety pinned to the inside of my shirt, and the tube loosely dropped from the bulb up to where it dissapeared into my belly. If it wasn't the bulb getting in the way, it was the tube getting stuck to some errant tape from one of  my bandages.

Honestly, I'm just glad to have the thing out.

It's been 8 days since surgery. I'm past the "clear liquids only" portion of the program and have graduated to "full liquids." This means I can have yogurt, puddings, and cream soups. Surprizingly, the word that best described my feelings the first time I stared down at my 2oz of slightly thinned yogurt is: Apprehension. My fears were not about a specific food or a bad result from eating it; after some consideration I concluded my feelings were driven by the fact I had followed the clear liquid diet so exactingly (some might say, obsessively) over the previous three weeks that I viewed the yogurt as cheating!

I got over it and ate it.  But in case anyone from the Gastric Bypass Diet Compliance Department is reading this for any signs of deviation: Let it be known, I took 40 minutes to eat that 2oz of thinned yogurt.

I have lots to tell, but I don't want to bore anyone to death, so I'll end this entry with this uplifting note:

The surgeons nurse weighed me four days before my surgery. When I went back to the office today to get my drain taken out, they weighed me again.

I am happy to report that I lost 40 lbs in 12 days.

:-)

Surgery is a success!

Hi Everyone! Thank you SO much for all the wonderful emails, phone calls, cards, and text messages. You made a big difference!

I'm feeling much better than I ever expected! The pain is completely controlled (Woot for Oxycodone) and my mood has been great. My energy levels are high, but they only last for 10-15 minutes at a time. I get super tired very easily. Not sleepy tired, but just "need to rest my body and brain for an hour" tired. Recovery will take time, to be sure.

I'm tolerating my food intake, which is a maximum of 1oz of water every 30 minutes. Focused 100% on keeping hydrated. I tried 1oz of sugar free Jello in place of my 1oz of water at lunch. Went well. Yum! Flavor!

I wrote up this next part in spurts over the entire day today. It's slow going, but I think some folks are wondering how the hospital was. Thanks again for all your support, prayers, and kind thoughts!! Enjoy!

Surgery went well - or so they tell me.

We got to the hospital at 5:30am and they called me back at 5:45. There must have been two dozen people in the waiting room. I thought: "How can there be this many operations scheduled for this morning??" Turns out, 75% of the folks were family of this one guy getting surgery. The nurses were none-too-happy, but this is York, so it's not completely unexpected to have four generations of "family" accompany a loved one to something as significant as surgery.

The nurses were great. Got my gown on, little sock-booties, then began the endless parade of doctors and nurses, each with their own mission, either giving me something, having me sign something, or just asking how things are going (think of it like the manager coming by near the end of your meal at a resturaunt). I.V. in the back of the hand was next, then anti-biotics, then 1000cc's of fluids to make sure I didn't dehydrate on the operating table. 7:45am they rolled me down the hall into the "kissing zone", where I had a chance to give Alex and Holly kisses before heading into surgery. Hugs! Kisses! Tears! Rinse and Repeat!

The operating room was... well... in a word:  AMAZING! I've heard them called "Operating Theaters" and now I know why. It looked like something out of CSI. There were more computer screens than I could count, four of which were 30" medical resolution monitors mounted on fully articulated swing arms hanging from the ceiling. How do I know the specs? You got it ... I asked the nurses while I was lying there in the Operating Room.  LOL!

After moving from the transport to the operating table the anestitia guy (yeah, I know there's a more appropriate title - just too tired to look it up) leaned in and said: "OK, I need you to take a few deep breaths from this mask so we can get..."

Apparently there was more in that mask than just plain Oxygen.

Next thing I remember I was lying in recovery with three nurses buzzing around me, adjusting my mask, programming the IV machines, and asking if I was cold. As far as I recall, my response to all of this was a stunning display of my verbal accumen: "I'm good."

Well, that's all I have energy for right now. I'll write more tomorrow when I feel up to it.

Hugs!

Super Colon Blow

Saturday Night Live influenced my sarcastic side more than any other show in the late 70's and 80's. I couldn't start my 'full colon cleanout' today without thinking of the SNL parody of the 80's "Total" cereal commercial, where a guy is eating a bowl of his favorite breakfast cereal and is interupted by the announcer who asks: "How many bowls of your cereal do you think you'd have to eat in order to equal all the nutrition found in just one bowl of 'Total'?"  The guy would spit out a few answers, and then be shocked when the announcer said: "Five bowls!"  SNL's take on it was a great role for the late Phil Hartman: http://www.hulu.com/watch/10304/saturday-night-live-colon-blow

Complete cleanout wasn't nearly as bad as some folks warned it would be. I chalk up my success today to the 10 days of nothing but water and sugar-free Jello.

Tomorrow is surgery.

I arrive at the hospital at 5:30am (yike!) have about 2 1/2 hours of pre-op, then go into surgery. It should last between 2 1/2 to 3 hours, then I'll be in recovery for another 2 hrs. I'll be in my room by 2:00pm or so.

I'll spend the night in the hospital, then first thing Tuesday morning they bring me down to XRay for a 'leak test', to make sure all their work is still holding and I'm not leaking like a sieve. If all goes well I'll be discharged that evening after 6pm and home in my own bed Tuesday night.

Recovery is 4-6 weeks.

I can't wait till tomorrow morning! I'm super excited, although maybe a little nervous. I'm heading to bed and hope for good dreams of a thinner me!  :-)

See you on the other side!

--
BTW: Several of you have asked where the name of my blog came from. Well, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v29QfOyuZ3Y

Drinking Syrup - 3 Days Till Surgery

It's Friday, and my surgery is three days away. I'm SO excited! The 10-day liquid diet is not nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be. After the first 5 days I got used to the reduced food intake and the lack of junk food.

Tuesday was a really tough day at work, after being off for three days for the Memorial Day weekend, and I was late getting home to boot. Alex needed to be driven over to York Little Theater for a rehearsal at 6:30. I didn't have time to make my shake, and I was starving since the last thing I had was a shake at 11:30am. We are driving to the theater and Alex says: "But Dad! I haven't had any dinner yet!" My response of "You and me both, kiddo! Suck it up!" didn't sit well with the grumpy 13-year-old sitting next to me in the minivan.

So, I did what came naturally and pulled into the McDonalds on the way, but when I got in line at the drivethrough I realized I couldn't order anything for myself. Again, it was easier to resist than I thought it would be, given my love of McDonalds burgers. Anyway, I ordered Alex's dinner, and was about to finish my order when I realized they had Decaf Diet Coke on the menu. I had given up Diet Coke when I started my liquid diet because I won't be able to have caffiene or carbonated drinks, so it was one of those great moments when I realized I could still drink a soda (without cafeine) before Monday.

I was giddy with the thought of drinking an ice cold soda! After we got our order and drove off, Alex put the straw in my drink and I pulled it out of the cup holder, and took a huge swig of that wonderful.....   EWWW!!  YUCK!!  It's HORRIBLE! I almost had to pull over and hang my head out the window and puke. It tasted so sickenly sweet I thought I had gulped straight pancake syrup instead of a Diet Coke. I was tempted to throw it out, but I brought it home and asked Holly to try it, to make sure it was my tastebuds, not the Diet Coke. She took a sip (as I silently cringed) and then said it was fine. I said: "I got it just for you, sweetie!"  <shhhh... that's our little secret!>

Got a busy day tomorrow, then Sunday it's Colon Blow time. Then off to surgery on Monday morning. They do two of these surgerys a day, so I will go in eather at 5:15am (UGG!) or 9:45am (meh). I hope to get a call later today to confirm my arrival time.

I have to get some sleep. My last day of work, until I return after surgery and recovery, starts in just 4 1/2 hours.

Holy Crap! I weigh how much?

"Holy Crap! I weigh how much?"


A phrase I often found spinning through my head whenever I went to the doctors and the nurse read aloud the number from the scale. If you know me, you have seen me struggle with my weight my whole life. Food is a comfort to me. Life is tough. I eat and life isn't as tough. Pretty simple formula to a very large Steve.


I decided I'd had enough.


10 months ago I entered a program that will culminate in me getting surgery to permanently change how I eat. It's been exciting and scary, but mostly exciting. The goal of the program is to educate surgery candidates on what the surgery is, what you will be able to eat and what you won't be able to eat, how much, and when. Mixed in were some great lessons around why we eat what we do, exercise ideas, and some good old-fashioned group therapy to keep us motivated and focused on our goals.


My surgery is scheduled for June 4th, 2012. If you're reading this AFTER that date, you can skip ahead; I'm certain the post-surgery posts will be much more interesting. 


I didn't want to write any blog entries before now, because for so many months it wasn't clear when I would get a surgery date. I'll go back and cover all of that at some point, but for now suffice it to say, it's been a real roller-coaster ride getting here.


To wrap up this post I'll give you a status update:


I'm on DAY 5 of the 10-DAY pre-surgery liquid diet designed to build my protein reserves and shrink my liver*. At times it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. At others it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. 


That's it for today. My dinner awaits: 8oz shake and two celery sticks. 


(*)Interesting Factoid: Your liver sits on top of your stomach. It's in the way if surgeons are trying to mess with your stomach. Eliminating Dairy, Meat, and Breads from your diet dramatically shrinks it.